Christmas Choons

A classic of the genre

Forget Wham! The Pogues, Slade et al. Christmas is for kitsch heads, for the discerning shopper and collector. Charles Bronson, yes he of Death Wish fame, made an xmas album and we must not question the wisdom- or relative merits- of this.

Here are some more gems. Every one a winner, winner, turkey dinner.

Dear god, no.

Shouldn’t social services be called? Where’s the beard, that’s all I’m saying. Klappa Pa and his rictus smile is the dark heart of the festive season.

 

That Alvin. You know…

Not Chipmunk or Stardust related, this is prior to that banging Aphex Twin collaboration. You know the one. With the Chris Cunningham video. Yikes.

Whyyyy?

Because nothing says “spirit of xmas” like greasy KFC food with the grinning capitalist fascist. Truly the most mind-boggling celebrity endorsement in the land.

Mmmmm.

Hello, ladies. Intense, be-suited, and most concerning of all, WHERE is the ORGAN? Actually, don’t show us. It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re all gonna be just fine.