Local Dramaturg set to rephrase the same question for torturous fourth time, local director remains oblivious.


A local theatrical company by the name ‘Treading the Boreds’ are now entering their into the final week of rehearsals for their mid-scale theatrical production of an epic drama based on the life of Danger Zone and Footloose singer Kenny Loggins, Loggin’ Country, which the publicity bills as:

Angels in America meets Lazarus over milkshakes.”

Not all is well within the company however, as the long agonised Top Gun dance sequence which is bookended by twenty-five minute scene changes to due to the elaborate fighter jet costumes draws yet another rehearsal to an uncomfortable standstill.

Stepping in, local dramaturg Keira Lessing is taking time out of holding her head in her hands to help effuse the obvious discomfort, shame, and existential terror haranguing the otherwise charismatic company. Over the course of a brooding thirty-five minutes, in which Ms. Lessing will broach the subject with the director, citing both the obvious concerns of the performers, whose gazes are likely to strafe in a manner not unlike their unfortunate choreography, but also the perspective of the audience in what is likely to be a tonally jarring, seizure inducing, and time lengthy portion of the show.

If previous rehearsals are anything to go by, the director is predicted to nod profusely, cherry-pick the parts of the critique which justify his vision, and generally misunderstand every point going. With her trademark professional patience intact, although never quite to be the same again, Ms. Lessing is likely to offer a re-worked series of questions involving several key themes, which have become staples of her involvement in the project: the first being the apparent confusion between franchises that will see each jet-fighter transform between humanoid and aeroplane form whilst enacting a cosmic battle, and the second being a concern about the tolerance or lack thereof from the public for an eight-hour show that runs twice daily despite not having any material for the middle act.

The director remained confident upon leaving rehearsals that:

“the performers will just have to make it work”

And Ms. Lessing meanwhile left offering condolences for the cast, for once perhaps she will be pleased to have been omitted from the programme.


Yours satirically,

Auto-Tech Pilot


(All images are drawn from Google Image searches, All rights for these images belong to their respective owners)


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